I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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