Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I need a hoe opinion
go on
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
