Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
