I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
