I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
