so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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