it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize