he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
3pm strippers are depressing
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize