Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
