just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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