I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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