i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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