Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
