i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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