My entire life is one complicated drinking game
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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