he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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