I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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