I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
