Your face is a jimmy john
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boob is missing a layer of skin
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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