a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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