Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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