i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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