She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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