i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize