Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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