hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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