I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
