k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
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I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
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you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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