I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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