so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Randomize
