is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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