Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize