I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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