I want to make a zoo with you.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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