hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
