i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
