On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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