I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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