I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
