i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
