Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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