If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
