Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You are the jesus of drinking
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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