So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
