you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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