I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
