i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
