u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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