no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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