How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
