why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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