This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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