is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
