i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
