I molested 6 butterflies tonight
No stitches, just platelets and will power
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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