How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
