Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
