Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
