You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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