Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
