Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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