just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
