Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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