I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
