i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
