yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
